Day 2 of our stay-cation was super relaxed and fun.

We slept in as late as our 2 littles would let us.  Then we made waffles, as is tradition. 

Then we picked up Ultra Grandma (what we call Elias' great grandma) and took her to the Swetsville Zoo.  This isn't an animal zoo but a local art exhibit of sorts that features dinosaurs and the such welded from old car parts and other metal objects.  It is fairly small but free and fun.

What a fun way to spend a Saturday.

Since deciding to rename the blog, I've been searching through old posts to find and delete any information I no longer wish to share.  And in the process, I've been both encouraged and disheartened to read what I've posted in the past.

I am encouraged because I am so much healthier emotionally than I was even just a year ago.  I am sad to recall just how lonely I was and how much sorrow filled my heart.  My Father God really has brought me out of who I once was.  I am SO thankful for His Grace and Love through it all.

Some things I've learned while reflecting back:

• I need people in my life.  I need people in my life who will tell me what is really going on in their lives.  I need this because, when it's not there, I can too easily slip into a very dark and lonely place.  One of the gifts that God gave me was a heart that feels others' every emotion; a heart that LONGS to share in both the joy and the sorrow of others' lives.  I love my gift of mercy.  I feel alive when I have this type of relationship with other woman.  (Let me clarify: Please don't read that as "I get joy from hearing other people's sorrow."  Its not like that). When I am not able to celebrate and/or morn with those I love, I feel isolated and alone.

• From that, I've learned that I need to actively seek out friendships.  Again, not because I just want people to fill this need in my life.  But because I want to have healthy friendships and a major side benefit is that I will be able to use the gifts that God gave me, which in turn makes me a healthier person emotionally and, thus, a better friend.  The last several years, I have avoided actively seeking these friendships because I was too insecure in who I was.  My insecurities have shackled me into a heart of selfishness and sorrow.  I want and need to be free in Christ from my insecurity.  Otherwise, I will just be swallowed up by my fears and sorrows again.  And when my insecurities come, as they will, I will choose to speak truth into my own life.   I will choose to hear the truth of the Holy Spirit.  Every time I hear the words, "you are worthless just like you've always thought you are**," I will choose to not just ignore it but to call its bluff.  And I will choose to fight for my friendships, even if I feel like I am worthless to those I love.

• I've learned that I place too much pressure on my husband to meet all of my emotional needs.  As I stated, I need people in my life.  I've placed my husband in a very difficult position by asking him to be my everything.  It is not fair to ask him to be my only adult conversation.  

...I hope I am not rambling.

Anyway...

I am sure that I could keep going but I have other duties to attend to...mainly a little boy with some piggy toes that haven't been counted in awhile.  Maybe I'll post again after I reflect a little more.

Thank you to all of my friends who stuck it out with me.  Thank you to everyone who prayed for me; thank you to everyone who read and commented on those blogs.  You are each a gift to my heart from God.

**Our couple's group is doing a Beth Moore study on insecurity and I can pretty much identify the roots of all of my insecurity.  I won't go into the details of the WHY but the root of all of my insecurity is that I want to be valuable to those I love.  I am afraid that I will someday be proven worthless, just as my heart has always feared.  What a sad thing, but at least I know what it is now!

Brian and I went to yellowstone this last weekend for our 3rd anniversary.  When family members found out we were planning to camp, many asked if I was crazy...I am 36 weeks pregnant after all.  This was the perfect time for us to go and I wasn't going to let the discomfort of pregnancy get in the way!  Elias is no longer nursing and we'll have an 11 month old next year...who knows when our next chance would have been. 

We left Saturday morning after dropping off the dogs and Elias at my mother's house. We arrived at about 6 or so that evening, driving up through Casper to Cody and finally to the east entrance of the park. We camped at Bridge Bay the first evening.

The following day, we toured the north side of Yellowstone including Tower Falls, the Grand Canyon in Yellowstone and Mammoth Springs.  That night we stayed at Maddison camp grounds.  This camp ground was much less private and we decided we'd stay at Bridge Bay, if possible, the next time we decided to go to yellowstone.

We had a picnic lunch and some bison came near our table.  Brian is generally uncomfortbale with wild life and began packing up the car.  It was a good thing too.  I decided to pack up too and not a moment too soon.  Mr. bison decided to visit our table about 30 seconds after we had vacated it.  It was a nice itching post.  Not 1 minute later and he made his way to our car.  It was SOOO FUNNY!!!



We had plans to camp in Grant Village the following night but it didn't take us as long as expected to visit Old Faithful and the surrounding area.  We ate an anniversary lunch at Old Faithful Inn and it was HORRIBLE!  I am so glad I am married to a man who is willing to just laugh it off with me.  It was such a waste of money.  Both of us wished we had just had our picnic lunch instead. 

After lunch, we decided to make our way south into Grand Teton National Park.  It was SOOO beautiful there.  Pictures cannot do it justice.


We ate dinner that night in Jacksonhole with a childhood friend of Brian's, even though it was our anniversary.  It was a blast to get to know Chris a little better.  We had planned to stay at a camp ground in the Grand Teton National Park but it was completely full.  So, at about 10:00 at night we made the decision to drive down the road and see what we could find.  If you know us, this is very unlike us.  We found a campground, set up camp and stayed up a little to look at the stairs.  It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.  I hate to admit that I was in a sour mood because I was tired, had horrible indigestion from eating SOOO late and was just grumpy.  So, instead of enjoying the sound of the babbling creek and the view, I crashed.  I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and Brian stired too.  We decided to get a head start, took down camp and starting driving home.

This trip, even though it was 4 short days, was the longest trip Brian and I have ever been on alone, including our honeymoon (which was 3 days).  It was a much needed break and I am so happy that we did it.  We talked about how afraid we both are to be parents again, looked back on the last three years of marriage, laughed, worked on communicating better.  We listened to a book called the Historian on CD.  It was a great trip but I'll admit....

I sure was ready to see this face again!



When did he become a little boy?!! 

I know this post is a little dull but I only have a few minutes and wanted to write down the facts before I forgot them all!  Maybe I'll post about it again!